


How can I compete with someone who could touch the stars?

by playlike-agirl (playlikeagirl)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Pure fluff and emotions, This is so sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 20:55:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9202877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/playlikeagirl/pseuds/playlike-agirl
Summary: Alex never feels like she's enough. Never feels like she's enough in her mother's eyes, compared to Kara. Maggie tries to make her believe she is.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I got the idea for this fic from watching this beautiful video here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIyHjuE_qPM  
> The fic is based around these Alex quotes:  
> "Why hasn't it ever been enough?"  
> "I am just trying to keep up"  
> "How can I compete with you? With someone who could touch the stars?"
> 
> This is unbelievably fluffy in parts but also very emotional (well it was for me writing it) and I'm sorry I hate myself for doing this but I had the feels.
> 
> I listened to the song featured in the video when I wrote this which is "Demons" by Against the Current.

Maggie unlocks the door to their apartment, placing the groceries she'd grabbed from the store on the kitchen counter.

It's late and the only light is the moonlight filtering in from the large glass doors that lead onto their balcony; a requirement for Supergirl, and now Supergirl was a part of her life too. Her life, with Alex.

"Babe, I'm home," she calls out but hears no answer. Maggie furrows her brow; Alex is usually home by now and if she's been called out on official DEO business she usually shoots Maggie a text.

She walks towards the desk and turns one of the small lamps on that are scattered around their house; she's never been one for bright lights, and instead she's more for soft shadows and barely there highlights. Especially when the glow of their bedside lamp frames Alex's face perfectly; the glow from the bulb setting off the red tint to Alex's hair that's splayed across the pillow, the way her skin is cast in shadows and the bruises that seem to litter her body from her job become invisible. Maggie memorises them though, and kisses them all, soothing away the pain.

She turns towards the couch and almost jumps out of her skin as she sees her girlfriend sitting on the couch, wearing one of Maggie's old NCPD hoodies that's slightly too short in the arms, a blanket scattered haphazardly over her knees.

"Alex?" Maggie questions, quickly sitting down on the couch beside Alex, her hands immediately finding Alex's. "Look at me Alex. What happened?"

Alex turns towards her and her eyes are full of tears, red raw from sobbing.

"Oh baby, what happened?" Maggie gathers Alex into her arms, snaking her arm around Alex's waist, tugging her onto her lap. Alex burrows her face into Maggie's neck and she can feel Alex's eyelashes against her neck as Alex blinks and tries to stop the tears from falling. Maggie just moves her hand so it's underneath her hoodie, rubbing soothing circles to the small of Alex's back, like she does sometimes when Alex can't fall asleep, when Alex has nightmares. "Shhh. It's ok, everything's ok. I've got you. I'm not going anywhere."

They sit like that for a while and Maggie's legs go numb but she doesn't care. She'd sit here forever if it made Alex feel better. She alternates to running her fingers through Alex's hair, to pressing soft kisses to her forehead and whispering soft reassurances into her ear. Eventually though, Alex stirs and moves so she's sitting next to Maggie on the couch, crossing her legs, but pulling Maggie's hands into her own, intertwining their fingers, thumb rubbing the back of Maggie's hand, something she always does when she's anxious.

"Why hasn't it ever been enough?" Alex chokes out and Maggie's heart breaks right there and then for her girlfriend, for everything she's been through, for everything she's had to deal with. She knows then, knows that this has something to do with Kara, or Eliza, or both. Maggie knows that Alex loves her sister, would die for her sister and has come close a few times, and Maggie knows Kara would do the same for Alex, but that doesn't make it any easier on Alex. Alex. Her beautiful, wonderful, intelligent girlfriend. A PhD, an MD, a DEO agent, and still always feeling like second best. Maggie just wishes she could make her believe that she's never second best, never in her eyes, wishes she could tell Alex, could show Alex how wonderful she is in her own right.

"You spoke to your mom today?" Maggie asks tentatively, her hand not gripped in Alex's moving to Alex's thigh. Alex just nods.

"I love her Maggie and I appreciate her, appreciate how she pushed me to be the best I can be. But it's just too much sometimes. I can't be everything she wants, I can't do everything she wants. And Kara? Kara can."

"Baby. Baby look at me," Maggie coaxes, the tears forming in her own eyes now. "Your mom knows you're enough, your mom loves you ok. She just knows how capable you are, we all do. Ok, maybe she pushes you too much sometimes and maybe that makes you feel inadequate, but Alex, you are the furthest away from inadequate there has ever been. Sure, Kara is Supergirl, Kara saves people. But so do you. You saved me, you've saved J'onn, Winn, James, Kara. And you can do things she can't, you know things the rest of us could never dream of knowing, of doing. So don't you dare ever think you're not enough. You're enough, it's unbelievably amazing how enough you are."

Alex nods and Maggie's heart tightens, is so full of love for her girlfriend in this moment. Her girlfriend, who was so closed off and so reluctant to let someone in when they first started dating, so scared that Maggie would run. But Maggie would never, could never run from Alex. She'd fallen for her, mind body and soul and would move mountains if she could for this woman.

"I am-I'm just trying to keep up." Alex takes a deep breath and looks into Maggie's eyes. "With everything. With Kara, with you. With work and with life."

"And you're doing great Alex. You're doing so great. Plus, you know you can lean on me when it seems to much. You always can. Just like I lean on you in my own way."

"I know," Alex smiles out softly. "And I love you so much for that. But how," Alex takes a deep breath, shaking slightly as she exhales. "How can I compete with Kara, Maggie? With someone who could touch the stars?"

"Oh Alex. I know you think you have to compete, that everything is a race or a project to complete ahead of time, but it's not baby girl. It's not. You don't need to compete with Kara. Maybe she can touch the stars, but you know what? I never even cared about stars until you came along. Before you the night sky was just another vast darkness, until you came along. Until you came along and we lay on rooftops and I called you a nerd as you rattled off constellation after constellation and I smiled and I memorised them all because they all remind me of you."

Alex tries to smile, but it comes out as half a smile half a sob. "And I love you for that."

"Good," Maggie replies, smiling, her dimples breaking out. "Because I love you too."

That seems to cheer Alex up slightly and she smiles, properly now.

"I'm so lucky to have you Maggie."

"Oh I don't know about that Danvers. I think I'm the lucky one."

With that Maggie reaches forward and presses a soft kiss to Alex's lips who sighs in relief. Maggie positions them so Alex is lying down on her chest, matching her breathing to Maggie's as Maggie runs a hand through her hair, down to the soft skin of her neck. She soothes her until her breath evens out and she falls asleep on the couch of their first apartment together, safe in the knowledge that she is perfect, here and now, with Maggie everything is perfect, she is perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on tumblr @sawyeralex  
> I'm ususally just there crying over the beauty of Sanvers.


End file.
